In this episode, I share some highlights from Season 1. You'll hear some of the following guests from these episodes: (03:45) - #1 - What's the Best Way to Help Someone? w/ Joshua Bingaman In this episode, I talk to Joshua Bingaman. We talk about discipline, security, finding balance, and so much more.
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bingerzinger/ (05:34) - #2 - More Good Days Add Up to a Good Life w/ Preston Stigall In this episode, I talk to Preston Stigall. We talk about self-worth, physical well-being, designing better days, and so much more. (08:37) - #9 - Design Your Destination w/ Dr. Zain Hakeem In this episode, I chat with Dr. Zain Hakeem. He is a medical practitioner, and we talk about this unique model of medicine, considering goals and strengths in prescriptions, the intersection between physical and medical health, and so much more. (13:06) - #10 - Good Vibrations Carry Information w/ Dr. Dave Cohodes In this episode, I chat with Dave Cohodes. We talk about fear responses, finding your tribe, the role of physicality in cognition, and so much more.
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drdavecohodes/ (22:33) - #14 - Women In Real Estate w/ Isabel Affinito In this episode, I talk to Isabel Affinito. She's the founder of WIRE (Women In Real Estate) Austin Team. We discuss essentialism, hitting the curve balls in business, the change that comes with having children, and so much more. Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/isabel.affinito/ Connect with Athan: Instagram: https://instagram.com/doingtheworkpodcast
Website: https://www.doingtheworkpodcast.com
Sponsors: Strive S&C: www.strivebastrop.com
Strive Human Optimization: www.shobastrop.com
Tracy's Drive-in Grocery: www.tracysgrocery.com
Transcript
Athan 00:00
Welcome to the doing the work podcast. I'm your host, Athan, Schindler, I am so grateful that you're here and that you're tuning in. I have been growing at an exponential speed while doing this podcast. In fact, I'm immersed in doing my own personal work that I know is going to be life changing for me. And so I appreciate you for joining me on this this journey. This week, we've got a mashup, a compilation of some moments, some conversations that are resonating with me from season one. So we are currently in season two. And so I looked back at season one, and just pulled some moments that that really just kind of have continued to be on my mind. So I hope you enjoy this this week's mashup. I know that if you're paying attention, you're listening, then you're growing. And that's what I really want for our listeners. While I'm thinking about it, I would love if you would subscribe on your favorite channel, we're on Apple podcasts. We're on Spotify, we're on YouTube, just hit that subscribe button. Please. reviews and ratings helped me grow, help more people find me. And of course, when you find an episode that resonates with you that you grew from it, you thought it was entertaining, definitely share that with someone who you think would like to listen to it. That also helps me grow. I'm always looking for new guests. So if you have any recommendations that are people that you think would like to be on the show, or someone who has something that needs to be heard, definitely send them my way. And please give me feedback. Tune in to the Instagram at doing the work podcast. And that's where I share all the extras and I asked for your comments. And that's where we can have a bit of a conversation about the episodes and really, you know anything. So I'd love to interact with you as much as possible. Follow me on all those channels. I hope you liked this episode, and we'll see you soon
Athan 02:11
you're doing the work podcast is brought to you by some amazing sponsors, who we're very grateful for that allow us to do this amazing podcast that brings you information that helps you to be more connected and be more healthy, and helps you grow in your life. strives strength conditioning empowers people to be happier, healthier, and more successful in life. They help you to crush it in the gym, so you can crush it even better outside of the gym. They've got top notch coaching, and an even better community. If you're looking to up your game and your fitness or your healthy habits. This is the place to go check them out at www dot strive bastrop.com and who you are and what you represent for me in my own life is exactly nailing when I when I see you on fire and when I considered to be your best, that's who you are. You're this less welcoming, loving, like energetic person and everyone around you is like drawn to that. Like I mean, like who you are in our gym community is that you know the person who you know you're you're known for helping to raise the energy the vibration of the entire room cool and and and it's not it's not like it's that's when it seems effortless for you when I see you in those moments when you're really kind of like being being who you are. There's no way on you I can see there's no way and you know and I love that and how you how you give that to the world.
What's the Best Way to Help Someone? w/ Joshua Bingaman
Joshua Bingaman 03:45
I think seein we're just going back and forth world I love you. I love number one I see you. You can tell with people when they're doing when they're being who they are literally at the core like who got created to be what they're so happy in a place of having accepted life life on life's terms. That's yeah, whatever but like, where you're truly who you are and living from your heart. Man, all that the stuff I was saying the that you're called the defense mechanisms, but these things where it's like, I act different ways in front of different people. This is me saying this objectively, so that I'll be liked or accepted or protect myself in these settings and situations. When all that bullshit goes away, you're like, oh, wait, this is who I am right all the time. And I'm living from my heart. And if if I'm in the right place with the right people, it benefits them as much as it does me like that's the thing I've told you where Tracy's the market. Yeah, you and your wife and couple partners bought to go We're down there, I'll be stolen, I'll be holed up at the house. And I'll be like, I'm alone. And I'm reading and I'm Ernest Hemingway, and just all the silly stuff. And then I'll come down there and there's people, it lights me up. And there's like a yoke lifted off of me and high fives and hugs, and how are the kids? You know, and just all these interactions that literally is my fuel? And it's not like that for everybody? No, but for me, it's like, I always have to remember and accept that when I get in those settings. That's when I am who I am, right? Yeah,
More Good Days Add Up to a Good Life w/ Preston Stigall
Preston Stigall 05:34
our morning routine. My morning routine is in constant involvement. It's not like, Hey, I have to have this. Because I don't get attached that. If when you pick up things, if you're not changing, you're not growing. But when I read stillness is the key, I, I was living with a roommate at the time. And I say, Josh, unbelievable book. And I've really started incorporating this practice of not having to do this or not reading this each morning, but just being still for a little bit like that. I've found out so much about myself, and I've gotten more confidence about what's going on and where I'm headed. And anyways, I said that to Josh, and I'll never forget the big look in his eyes. He goes, dude, that scares the hell out of me.
Athan 06:18
Yeah, because people can't be with them. So I mean, I think that people and I'm guilty, I'm 100% guilty of this myself, that I busy myself with tasks, and things to do, and projects, because I don't want to be with myself. You know, I I'm afraid of taking a look at who I really am. And like having to deal with that. And so I just distract. Now I'm getting better at it. I'm trying. But the truth is, is if I'm being honest, that a lot of times, the things that I do all the time were one built in me trying to prove to the world my worth and my value because I didn't feel valuable, and I didn't feel worthy. And the opposite of that is is like I didn't want to deal with who I who I really was. And so yeah, he's he I think what a what an honest and vulnerable thing that he said to you by saying that terrifies me, because it's that's real. Yeah.
07:16
And another part of it is it's not flashy, you can't make a post about it. Hey, guys, hey, everyone. I spent 15 minutes this morning, doing absolutely nothing listening to the birds. And glancing over at my little chihuahua Yorkie, every five or whatever minutes. It that's not glorified. And it's not flashy, and but the reward is priceless. Because Ed, my lead, awesome guy, awesome entrepreneur. Anyways, he said, in his opinion, the best way to build confidence is keeping promises to yourself. Anyways, that meditation time, and there's the other side of it, you can think about all the promises that you have kept to yourself, and that builds confidence. Or you think about how you fallen short of the promises that you were going to make, but powerfully in silence and stillness. You can map out a roadmap for that day, that week, that month, or even for the rest of your life. Hey, this is what I intend on doing. And then once you start living up to those promises that you commit to in the stillness, holy cow, you build confidence momentum, and you spiral upwards. And it just feels feels good. And confidence breeds confidence,
Design Your Destination w/ Dr. Zain Hakeem
Dr. Zain Hakeem 08:37
this idea that we know but don't really know what to do with right. intimate relationships and community decreases your chance of death, mortality, heart disease, we know it right, actually. Pretty strong, right? It's one of the strong and I think Dean Ornish, in some of his later books, since it's a stronger factor than almost anything else you do. Okay, that's great. We know married men live one. Right. But we only do like what, okay, I'm not married. All right. But when we
Athan 09:10
find someone it's not, is it? It's not just the well, maybe it is like, do you think it's literally just having a partner someone to share lifelike or is it more like having a healthy relationship? Or are there other distinctions?
Dr. Zain Hakeem 09:27
There are? There's just thinking there? Yeah, I think the more nuanced you get in a scientific endeavor, the fuzzier the data gets, because you, you have more factors now that you're looking at, right, right. So stability seems to be part of it. So that to that degree is almost any partner will do. Right. The other thing that seems to be a part of it is the degree to which you are vulnerable with the other person. Interesting. And so there's a support aspect, which is just the end If there's some other person who is risk tied to me in it so that we are mitigating and sort of creating risk pooling between the two of us, and that is, whoever's willing to make the right. Yeah, exactly. Um, but the other factor, there does seem to be the emotional component of vulnerability and saying, okay, this person really knows me. Yeah,
Athan 10:23
that's fascinating. That part is fascinating to me. Because, again, not being a doctor, or a scientist who says anything like that, I can say that, how I experienced some people who've people who seem to be a little less vulnerable, who seemed to be bottled up their stress, you don't seem to have great pathways for getting some of that out, tend to me, like, they tend to have more health issues, you know, they tend to be sick more often, they tend to not be as resilient, you know, physically, they tend to have more injuries. And I've seen that over and over again. And I can kind of sometimes add, now I've been a coach for as long as I have, I can kind of see him coming from isolation that you know, you kind of chose who's going to have some of those issues versus
Dr. Zain Hakeem 11:12
versus other people. So you gotta wonder how much value and just where my brain goes with is you wonder how much of it is also coming out and things like over competitiveness, not knowing your limits? Well, maybe I don't know my limits, because I'm stressed. And I'm trying to work out that stress in some physical way, rather than paying attention to my body saying
Athan 11:33
yes, or no, or even just the fact that I haven't allowed myself to express my, you know, my limit, I haven't bounced my limits off of others, and we kind of have to know what those limits are. And, you know, so that could be part of it, too.
Dr. Zain Hakeem 11:48
Yeah. Well, I Jordan Peterson talks about this a little bit like, you know, and he, he says, you know, we used to or do, we'd like to still do we think of our, our sanity, as something internal. It's like, hey, my mind is well formed is well structured in some way. But as social creatures, we outsource waterfox of our sanity, oh, without a doubt, yeah, it's like, well, if you know, if you don't see the guy in the corner, then maybe I'm gonna not talk about the guy in the corner, and to some degree, stop seeing the guy in the corner. And it's interesting, the degree to which our perceptions are governed by our social interaction. So there's too much data, even in just this room, like we talked about the growing of the weeds of the carpet, you know, whatever. Now there are some, but we don't, right. And the reason I don't even perceive that until I call your attention to it, is because we never talked about, right. So yeah, it's just not there at all. Yeah, it's not something that we might talk about our brain cells do you just think, you know. And so this is the social impulse is at the core of everything, we see everything we perceive. And then if you don't perceive it, how can you act on physical
Good Vibrations Carry Information w/ Dr. Dave Cohodes
Dr. Dave Cohodes 13:06
being? Yeah, so it's mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual. And so I really feel that we all have a purpose and that purpose again, it comes down to an essence which is a vibration. And if we can live up to that potential, then we become the vibration that we were meant to be, which ultimately requires that we go through the hero's journey, the dark night, we battle the inner demons, we do the things that are necessary for us to live up to that fullest potential. And so both personally, that's you know, that's what I've been on myself is going through the, the inner work just constantly just like it's like a daily practice for me, I meditate, I do yogic practices, I move my body. I'm focused on my nutrition, except for on Fridays, I have pizza night, which is important, you know, pizza, the kids, you know, you got to do that. And yeah, like I'm really focused on on living up to my fullest potential. And I've gone through many different types of ceremonies journeys, if you want to call them I've, I've worked with different plant medicines, I saw the evidence come out for that through Johns Hopkins, helping veterans and similar to you, I'm a veteran and so I needed something to help me both through the wounds of war but also just some financial trauma that I went through earlier in my career after having signed a contract that fell through and and it the I was really banking on that contract, because it was a location contract and, and, you know, basically lost everything overnight. Everything kind of spiraled and all of a sudden, I kinda was like, like, kind of standing there like oh shit, like this is like this. I knew it was like, This is my moment. Like, this is my moment to show myself what I'm what I'm capable of. And it, it wasn't easy. It wasn't Yeah, at all. But what I realized now is that, that brought me into my fullest potential that power. When I say my power, it's like, I'm able to see things. And when I say see things, I mean, like, if something like if I have a negative thought, for instance, I can catch it right away, I can see that like, no, that's the wrong train of thought, like, I don't need to think negative, I just like I can just transmute that very quickly. I can remain positive, I can remain optimistic. And it's not like some panacea like la dee da, everything's gonna be okay. Like, this is true boots on ground, like, focused on where I'm going. And being able to, to active actively, both know what I'm thinking, change what I like, if I'm, if I think something in like, your negative, I'm able to flip that into the positive, and then get better results in my life because of it. And so so that's actually basically what I'm doing now professionally, as well as helping people through that process of the inner game, the inner work, and transmute both, you know, what is in the conscious mind. So just like the the daily mindset work, the you know, meditation, the transmuting thoughts, focusing on where you want to go, but also the deep, deep, if you want to call it spiritual work, using a process called somatic release breath work.
Athan 16:29
Yeah, I want to hear about that. Because I know that's been a lot of the work that you've been doing. Yeah, hopefully, we'll get to that.
Dr. Dave Cohodes 16:34
Yeah, we will. Yeah. And, and so that is like, the deep, like, let's get down into the roots. And so by going through all of these processes, I can help people truly through the the hero's journey, in a way, it's, it's a, it's a such a powerful process. And right now in the works of developing an actual like weekend experience and immersion. So that, you know, the individual can come in, if they're feeling like, Man, I'm not getting the results I want, I'm just, you know, like, you know, you can just like almost like you can, like, see it like you but you just for whatever reason, you're just blocking yourself like self sabotage, procrastination, you're just, you know, not as effective as you want to be. All of that is truly what's going on in the inside of your body, how your body and your mind are responding emotionally to the world around you. So, you might notice that, you know, people might notice that though, they'll get a certain result. And then they'll be winning in life, they'll be getting the result they want, and all of a sudden, like, something will happen, and then they'll they'll retreat back. Well, that's, that's a that's a trauma response, essentially. And so my job is to help you break through that instead of running away go through that. And it does require people it requires a guide or requires having a group of individuals around you to support you and hold you while you you go through that. Because that's just scary. That's the scary part. Yeah. Of Life. Yeah.
Athan 18:04
Yeah. And you mentioned earlier the, the weight room of life. And I love that I love that visual, I love that idea. And honestly, it's something that I have not done a great job of the reason why I own a gym and gyms, and like, you know, fitness facilities and stuff like that is because I see and feel the direct relationship between, you know, how you develop strength, physical strength, in the weight room, the actual weight room is the exact same way that you develop strength emotionally, spiritually, and I want to do a better job of saying, like, look, when we're in the weight room, yes, we are trying to become physically stronger. But this is also a this is exactly how you figure out that relationship problem that you've been having, or that career issue or what whatnot. And so when you talked about earlier, this is the you said something along the lines of this is like a heavy weight that I'm lifting, I'm going through this dark part of my life. And this is like the heavy weight I I loved hearing you say that? Because I was like, Yeah, this is like your testing day, you know, you've done all this training. And this is this it has my program worked for me. This is my one rep max. Yeah, essentially, or this is my one mile run or whatnot. Yeah. And, and not enough people look at those tests in life with that kind of vision and that gratitude, like, thank you. Yeah, thank you for giving me all this shit that I'm having to deal with right now. Because let's see if I can lift it. And if I can't lift it, then I'll drop it. And then I'll go back to the weight room. Yes. And I'll start training and now I know what I'm capable of. We're not capable. Yeah,
Dr. Dave Cohodes 19:40
yeah. And the training, quote, unquote, training can always change to keep that in mind. You know, like, as we age, the emotional training, you know, I think about the way I started I just started with with, you know, gratitude and just, you know, affirmations and the things and they got into meditation and then ultimately, it's now it's worked itself. into full on somatic expression, somatic releasing for myself, if I'm going through some work, you know, I have like the day to day practices, and this is just the emotional stuff. But I'm able to, again, like really work through some deep stuff in a very quick period of time. And so you as you grow as you develop through the weight room of life, you're able to process things, it's like you're physically like, it's like, you're emotionally stronger as you are physically stronger. And, and it's, it's such a powerful thing, it's, I really do like that that analogy too. Because if you're, if you're looking to grow your muscles, right, physically, you don't like look at the weights and be like, you son of a bitch. You know, like, it's like, it's like, if you're, you know, you're you're looking at your husband, or your wife, and you're like, god dammit, you know, like, doing that thing again, you know, like, that's just an example that's like a 45 pound weight. That's all that is, you know, and, and how you perceive the way is, is really a lot of what's gonna you know, the result you're gonna get, if you go into you know, let's say like Max deadlift day like a one rep max deadlift day, you're like, Yeah, it's like your mindset tuned in, and you align your mind and body and like, you are physically stronger because of your mind. And we know our mind and body are connected. And so our mind the way we show up in the weight room, but also just, it really shows up in so many different areas of life. And, you know, our finances and our relationships and our, you know, you name it, you know, it's it's everywhere. And so it's it, you know, if you're able to really show up, and, and like look at, let's say your state of finances, because let's say finances is a thing that was, you know, that was a thing for me. And if you're ever able to look at your bank account, or your just like, your, your customer list, or whatever, you know, and you're like, you know, you're not happy with it, but you see it as an opportunity, you know, then everything is going to change, and you see it with gratitude, your whole life will change, because then you're, it's as if the universe like has to have some match to you how you're showing up, and you being a sovereign individual, you have free will to choose. And that's, that's really ultimately what if I'm going to sell it, if I'm selling anything, I'm just selling free will, which is giving you free will back. That's all it is.
Women In Real Estate w/ Isabel Affinito
Isabel Affinito 22:33
Yeah, looking back, sometimes I'm like, I don't know how we did that. You know, I, I coach women now on my team, how to get started. And so I, I do revisit a lot of those lessons a lot. But honestly, I think a lot of it had to do with being really young and not knowing what we're getting ourselves into. Like I've I've since then read this idea that entrepreneurs and people who start businesses, one thing that they tend to have in common with one another is an unreasonable level of optimism. Like that everybody else is like, that's not going to work. It's never gonna work. For all these reasons, it's really gonna suck, you know, and all the entrepreneurs out there, like, it'll be fine. And it's kind of like they're both right. Right? Because people who are saying this is gonna be harder than you think it is. Their right. But the people started the business who were like, it'll be fine. They're also right. It just kind of depends on when you win. And if you quit, right, which
Athan 23:27
one is going to motivate you to actually to see it through? You said something a minute ago about like, I'm remember your exact words, but it was like, I don't know why I don't remember exactly how all this happened. Or like, I don't know, how we how we got here. Like looking looking back now. What do you think was like the I mean, other than the optimism, what do you like? What is it that like was was critical to keeping you moving forward? And, you know, do you think about any of that now?
Isabel Affinito 24:02
Yeah, absolutely. Do you think about it in this is gonna be really weird answer, but I think I'm unemployable. So like, I need to hear that. Yeah. I honestly think that's what kept me going. Because any time that I started to think this is so hard, or that rejection was so painful, or, you know, this money situation that we're in is so scary, like anytime any of those thoughts started to occur to me. And if I ever and occasionally I would think that Well, I mean, should I just go get a real job. And I would think about what it would be like to show up somewhere to have somebody tell me how many vacation days I have, and to have somebody telling me how I'm supposed to do things. That idea scared me so much. It was scarier than all of the scary things about being self employed. It was scarier than being in mass amounts. To me, yeah, it was scarier than picking up the phone and cold calling and getting hung up on it was scarier than making all those my own decisions and owning them and owning the consequences of them. But the idea of being tied to like a mean boss. It scared the living daylights out of me.
Athan 25:05
That's so fascinating. I've thought I've been thinking a lot about fear lately. In fact, I listened to a book recently from a guy named Anthony de Mello. I was called awareness was recommended to me from a friend. And he, he brought about these points about how the opposite of love is fear. And I've spent a lot of time in contemplation about what fear and then I do think about, like, I think about all the decisions that I've made in my life, good or bad, or indifferent about how a lot of them were were done based in fear, you know, I'm being afraid of some sort of consequence. And hearing you say that, it's interesting, because in my mind, you know, a lot of people listening or some people studying even if they studied your path, they would think, Oh, no, like, she did this because she had a vision, and she was a go getter. And and not that you're not, but I love hearing you say, and I was afraid. I was afraid of the consequences of not being able to do that. And I think it's powerful to be able to say and to share share with people, anybody who's your mentoring or telling about your story.
Isabel Affinito 26:14
Yeah. And it's, it's important to me to share stuff like that, because I think they're, you know, and I've thought to myself, why do I care? Like, why do I care about sharing these things? Is it just do I like to be on film, and I like to be seen, you know, what is it? Or do I care about? What what is it that I believe other people will get from this? Or why do I? Why do I want this out there in the world, this kind of thing, this kind of like honesty, I guess I would call it and like the real version of the story. And I think part of it, for me comes down to who are some of the people that I look around at, and I hear their stories, and I'm inspired by the honesty. And it's, it's not the stories of like, you know, I just worked really hard and I gave it my all like, Okay, that's great. But that like, that doesn't inspire me that much. Because I kind of don't believe them, you know, cuz it's like, there's some there's more to that story than just like, you were just more committed than everyone else. Like there's there's a realer version of that story. So I think it's important for people to hear if anyone looks at me and thinks that they see success, which what does that even mean? Right? But if anyone ever thinks that, I want to be able to tell them. Look, I was scared. I didn't know what I was doing. I didn't have a perfect vision. I had no idea I was going to be here in 21 years. 2021. Almost 2022. Like, I didn't know that I would have this team and it would look this way. You know, people ask me that sometimes. What was your vision when you started to build a team? Like I didn't have one. I was tired of working so hard. I needed help. I needed help. Like, that's it right. And so I do think that there's something powerful especially for other women, I think a lot of other women, women tend to feel very afraid of taking risks in a lot of ways, right? We've in some ways, we're conditioned in a different way than men are to worry about well, but what if it's not perfect, and what if it doesn't work out? What will people think? And I think it's important for women to hear from other women like I wasn't sure I didn't know how it was gonna work. And there were definitely failures along the way for sure.
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